...Captains Log star date 4/30/09.....

GAHD!!! I just found out the reason I have been going through so much hell at work. I HAVE A VAGINA!!! Ok, so not as literal as all that, but it is because I am a girl. I know that throughout the years women have fought their way into the kitchen, breaking past the barriers created by the antiquated hierarchy and matching themselves along men, but I never thought I would be a victim of sexism...It's just not something an aspiring chef (namely me) looks at as a big obstacle. I see now that it is still a true concern. The chef I worked under when I first came to this property was very amiable, an excellent teacher, and treated me as part of the team. Not a piece of ass....albeit, a very large piece if you're referring to me *wink* It concerns me that some people's views on etiquette and proper conduct can be so skewed! I'm so very thankful that my parents raised me well enough to know right from wrong!

On a lighter note, I'll be home in just about 17 days, and either have a fun trip to PEI or the prom to look forward to :) not sure which yet, and though I am 19 and a sophomore in college, I have never ever been to a school dance, so there are definite exciting possibilities to going to a high school prom! Yes, my life really is that dull, haha.

I am presently watching Alfred Hitchcock's "The Birds" and eating Ramen.....with chopsticks.....because I am out of food and therefore doing to one meal at work and a random midnight-ish snack. Such is the life of a single woman, I don't recommend it for the faint of heart :) But I digress. The Birds, when watched from a film buff's point of view, is an amazing feat of a movie, not only does Hitchcock sucede in frightening us again by using the out-of-the-ordinary enemy of birds, which the average person underestimates and takes for granted, but he directed the darn thing with hundreds if not thousands of live birds! The poor actors must have felt real fear!

I have just found out that I must stay awake for at least 2 more hours because Bye Bye Birdie is coming on, and I do not have the fancy shmancy TV recorder programs...sigh...Do not be alarmed or worried dear readers, I Will Prevail, for the good of mankind!

Signing off

Save me, from all the trouble and the pain.....

In the words of Mel Blanc..."le sigh"....This week has been SOOOOOOO rough! And the week looming on front of me looks even less appealing. hmm, where to begin my story...Well, the beginning? All last week I was very depressed (for no apparent reason) but had the 23rd to look forward to, because my very best friend was coming to visit, and I had fun things planned. The weekend was perfect, though I am even broker than I was last week...and yes, I did just create an amazing new word :) But all my money and family issues are a bed of roses compared to this latest development in my freakishly unlucky young life. On Saturday evening, while at work in the sweltering heat of the Gala kitchen, another bomb shell was dropped. I was pulled into the break room by the chef and sous chef and told, that the chef had had enough time to observe me (ahem...he's had one month) and that I'm not doing my job well, I'm a slacker, and he will call the chef ahead of my internship and tell him I'm a slacker and fail me. I have one week to shape up. Needless to say I was shocked beyond words. Anyone who has ever worked with me knows that the verb "slacking" is not in my vocabulary... I bust my arse in the kitchen, and though I told no one of this horrid threat (because I dislike gossip and didn't want it to reflect badly on me) , it somehow got around, and I have been reassured by all the wait-staff that they think I'm the hardest worker in the kitchen. All pride aside, I believe that's pretty close to the truth. There are three of us who do all the work, and I'm one of them... I don't even know what to think anymore, I'm so very confused. I spent all last night sobbing on and off til 5 am, and all of today wishing there was a hole to crawl in and hide. I'm glad my roomie and a friend forced me out of the house to go to Joe's boyfriend's b-day party, which slightly brightened my mood (aided by the alcohol *wink*). I cannot even imagine working hard for six months and getting failed...every time the thought crosses my mind, I go crazy with worry. Yay, update on my life!!! Hopefully the next one will be more positive :) "Keep on the sunny side, always on the sunny side, keep on the sunny side of life!"